For my father…

My dad, George Golden, back in the day...

Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be posting for a week or two due to a family emergency. My father died this week and I am heading to Philadelphia on Tuesday morning to be with my family for his funeral.

My dad was a former Marine who served two tours in Vietnam. He could be the most infuriating man in the world and yet he was generous to a fault. Before he became ill, he was a very active man who didn’t like sitting still very long but loved to sleep in at the weekends. He used to say it was better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission…but he hated it when I practiced what he preached. When I told him I wanted to be a writer, he said I should be a lawyer or a doctor. But when I was accepted into VCU’s MFA program he was pleased as punch.

We didn’t always have the best relationship but maybe it was because I was (and still am) just as stubborn and opinionated as he was. In the last years of his life my dad was stricken with premature dementia. He’d begun to forget who we were, he’d lost his ability to speak due to a stroke, he’d lost a leg to diabetes. When I was with him, I could sometimes feel the anger in him. He didn’t like losing control of his life. But every now and then he would smile and everything seemed okay again.

One of my favorite memories of my dad is when he would sing his favorite songs on a Sunday night while listening to the Golden Oldies on the radio. He and my mom would dance around the living room and it was like getting a glimpse of when they first fell in love.

So the next week or so will be devoted to being with my family in Philadelphia and putting my dad to rest. And this post is dedicated to my father’s memory.


26 AUGUST 1939 – 15 FEBRUARY 2012

13 thoughts on “For my father…

  1. What a beautiful and honest dedication to you father and your memories of him. My Grandfather had a stroke also and was left unable to speak (except to say bugger) and with limited mobility, I believe he chose to leave when the time was right and my Grandma had found the independence she needed to live without him. Love is a truly amazing part of our lives and to have the memories to cherish when someone we love departs this world is part of that love that we will have in our hearts forever. Take care xoxo

  2. What a handsome man…I remember all of you stories about him and there IS a lot of him in you. I look forward to seeing you in Matera and will be thinking about you until then. Baci, baci, Ann

  3. Kim, what sad news but what a beautiful, heart-wrenching post you wrote- all yourlove foryour father shows through, good memories with less good, just the way it is in this life of ours which is never all roses…Our thoughts are with you as you fly to Philadelphia, all the very best!

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